...........and all the while............


a small story

the day we were wed.
we eloped in Tuscon, Arizona on the day shown in this picture. We didn't tell a soul. Husband picked me up from African dance class at UA and I saw him in his cowboy hat drinking at the water fountain with his wedding ring on and it was the sexiest thing I have ever seen (but what's new?). He had brought me lunch in tupperware and we ate it underneath a tree on campus before I literally ran off to theatre class. He had driven 7 hours from San Diego to marry me that weekend. I had bought the rings the night before, and both of ours (of course) needed to be re sized. After school I had to go to the doctors because I thought I had strep throat, we ran from the doctors to the courthouse and found two friends to be our witnesses last minute. I remember we were number "24" and there were a million people getting married there. We stood outside in a courtyard and took photos. We were nervous, but we had already promised each other our lives together to God the night before so the important part was over; just the legal stuff to take care of! I remember texting him two days before "We may not be able to get to the courthouse on time, and you may drive all that way and we might not even be able to get married" he texted back "can I still come see you anyways" and I knew that it was the right thing to do (in fact, I never even questioned it!) His vows the night before were one of the most amazing things I have ever heard in my entire lifetime, and they were spontaneous he didn't even write them down. It was the most spontaneous, life-filled, light-filled, confusing, nerve-wracking, freeing, special, romantic, and happiest day of our entire lives. I would get married again like that (to him) every day if I could. That night we had burnt pizza and red wine. The next morning he had to take off to work in his red corvette, shirtless bod, and cowboy at at 8:00AM. I was married and in a house a lone, 7 hours away but confused and happy in love. What I love most is that there were so many things that went wrong with the day, so many hoops that we had to jump through but we did it. We barely had enough dollar bills to make the $65 to get married, but it only ended up being $60 so it became possible! I remember the sunlight on the pink rustic southwest courthouse walls at sunset. I remember that I wore way, way too much makeup and didn't even know why. I guess I figured that's what people did when they got married. I remember husband practicing the signature that was to go on our marriage certificate. And we were even the last ones called that night at the courthouse...They said that if we hadn't spoken up we wouldn't have gotten it done that day! It was the most shocking thing when they pronounced us husband and wife [ i jumped about 3 feet when they said that]. I spent the next....let's say 3 months in happy shock that it ever occurred. All of a sudden, the love of my life whom I had swooned over for 5 years, had become my husband...I kept describing it as a good dream that you never really woke up from. I know it sounds silly, but I miss that day so much. I miss it being our special secret. I hope to never stop remembering the way I felt on that day. How I experienced joy before several horrific things happened in my family throughout the next couple of months: how empty I was of their understanding: how clear I was without their burden. Because of this these pictures have a bittersweet texture to me. But that day, I consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world to have had it. And I cherish it in my heart. There was nothing going on that day except being totally carried away by being in love. People ask me how I knew It was the right thing to do and I just say "it had to happen", it was almost like this light was pulling us through I know that sounds convoluted and stupidly poetic, but it's true: that was the rush. It was like, no matter what happened in the future, that moment was the only moment that mattered. What I love most about that day is that we were both moving with the same lightning speed pace, no one holding back, no one having expectations of how it should or shouldn't be, just two people on the same page about something very important. If I gave you our entire back story on this, it would give you chills. I can't wait to see what we do. We have come so far, and have so far to go.


I was 20 and he was 22.

3 comments:

Rhianne said...

wow, this is beautiful, I hope that you remember that feeling as well :)

nicole addison said...

lady you are amazing! i loved reading that, if you're interested i have a love story project going on over at my blog (myteacupsinpeony.blogspot.com) and id looove to share this story! you can email me if you have a question nicole.r.mountz@gmail.com

Jessilyn said...

I am crying right now. This is such a beautiful and honest story.

Thank you for sharing such an intense and private moment with us :)