the long stretch | the sands of getting young

, originally uploaded by moominsean.
Sometimes I feel like I could never leave new york, like I could never go to another city for any other reason. Sometimes I feel like I am here for all the wrong reasons all together: To further my disassociation with my troubles and produce an increase in tasty disillusionment. Is this reality or treatment? Escape or Education? I can't tell. Sometimes I wonder why I am choosing this, stretching us thin like old worn wristbands and waving us into the mornings of later yesterdays.

All in all, I feel like I am reaching more clarity than ever, I haven't felt this on top of the world since the summer of 2008, a few short weeks before the man of my dreams asked me to marry him even though we hadn't seen each other in half a year.

I am proud of the risks I am taking in this city, while still knowing that I could be smarter, swifter, and sounder. The idealist in me is chipping away at all my grey sky paint and chanting the wiser lines behind the pages.

When I call You, he is either asleep or I am. One day later I'm calling on my only break in 15 hours and he's drifting off to sleep land on the phone. For a person so full of contradictions and extremes, I wonder if moderation is any surface I'll ever be able to stand on, or if I'll simply keep up my calm surrender to the winds.

we are alive. we are human. we are light

let live,
you & me

ps: you're not that tired

1 comment:

Mandy Bryant said...

Brilliant. I know just what you mean...♥