either or | this just happened

, originally uploaded by jujubalee.

either I'm just already dreaming, or I saw my husband last night for the first time in five weeks walking a dog that looked just like ours in the east village. Either I'm seriously sleep deprived or I was kissed madly outside the kraine theater with stars underneath my eyes and was relieved of missing him and home and sunshine for a few morning minutes before he left south for ship's short way again. Either it's too hot in here or I'm in love with a wandering lost soul like myself just learning to keep our eyes closed enough to hear our soul's sewn zip together before we rickashay unborn residue of a once compromising empire.

We hear it strong, the sense we haven't made but we haven't learned it's tune because it doesn't have a north-spot....yet. touch is good.
and real.
and real good. but sanity is wiser loving the length of sunrise to surrender.

Sometimes marriage is hard. Real hard. Like trying to finish college-still stuck in meaningless military-5 states away-faded jean-dusty apron-distance blindness leads to denseness-5 jobs between us both--rotten-roaming,-love at room temperature-and no one's eating right-and things are getting lost like the important one's-hard.

but sometimes, your husband drives fourteen hours through a windstorm to see you for one lonely night before handing you over after midnight to the red brim choices you have mustered up in some hot spaghetti madness.
just to kiss you, see it happen, keep you warm on feels like 30 windchill, creeps up your sleeves & leggings, new york-sometimes-seldom lonely freak spring chill.

& everything is right in Kansas city.
because we are two suckers in love.
sucking really hard at modern marriage
but thief or bandit, still in love.


Claire Marie said...

Thanks for this beauty. It made me so happy.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for including my photo in your lovely blog? How did you come across it, if I might ask? Best wishes! Julia