decision|daydream


dreamday|daydream, originally uploaded by thingsseen.
this week's sense of place comes from thingsseen.

it touches me today because I feel (as usual) like I just need some sort of sign, some reaching hand across a lake to lead me and tell me what to do. This is one of my unfortunate conditions that I believe stemmed from me being the youngest of three children, having confidence that what I choose to do is "ok" has always been a little hard for me. Nonetheless, I explore this world like a firecracker and take it all with me, becoming a pressure cooker, or an older version, or-

and i think it's called stupidity when we know the correct decision to make yet choose not to make it. i can't place it with naivety because I know what I am loosing out on, but maybe I can liken it with greed because I do not know the name of the future's gamble, or what color waters it drinks. curiosity vs. sanity, but I can always breathe escape. I've got feet in all these spaces, but the balance wears me out enough to be transparent.

what do i do. I've found so much freedom here, I'm beginning to feel ok, and I know I could loose it all in a moment's dash. I could grasp this, but I don't know who the predator is here and later on in this book will I look back and regret forgetting pace? Even though pace is not linear.

Oh,

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

your orginality deep exploration of life and self is so profound. i felt every emotion every moment of what you were writing. you are in the HANDS of GOD that is a reality all around you. no need to search for answers.